THE KRAKEN CAPTURES INNOCENT CIVILIAN IN LEICESTER SQUARE
London commuters got the fright of their lives this morning as The Kraken crashed through the ground into Leicester Square, taking an innocent civilian hostage and dangling them 25ft in the air.
Screams and cries from the petrified mortal have been heard echoing around the square all morning, and confirmed reports now reveal that they are trapped within a red telephone box that The Beast ripped from the ground in the early hours. There’s no saying how long the malevolent creature will remain, but the captive continues to desperately beg for the public’s urgent help.
What can you do? Well, the story goes that the only way to repel the darkness of The Kraken is for an army of brave souls to snap The Beast with their camera flash, to deny it the darkness it craves… So locals, tourists and commuters are being urged to head to the scene, where mysterious black envelopes are being distributed, each containing a reward for those brave enough to face The Beast.
Courageous souls will also be rewarded with two-for-one Kraken Perfect Storm cocktails at All Bar One, Leicester Square.
The Kraken’s attack on Leicester Square follows a string of sightings up and down the country where The Beast has caused untold terror in Glasgow, Birmingham and Brighton. The legendary Bullring torn to shreds. The Duke of Wellington attacked in Glasgow. Even Brighton’s beloved pier has been smashed to smithereens. There’s no saying what or who The Kraken could destroy next if left to its malevolent devices. Please help!
